I once dug a hole in my head

I have on several occasions, ingested poison

For fun.

I drank it, or smoked it, or stuck it into my blood.

And then stayed up all night or for days

Like a lab rat being studied in a cage,

but I was the test subject of my own experiment.

I have found out what happens

to the human mind

after 12 days of no sleep,

and with tweezers dug out pieces of my own skin

because i thought i saw something that wasn't there.

I have spent hours with my ear under a faucet,

like it was a seashell on a beach,

and allowed the pour water to flow into my ear,

for hours.

I have done all these things, and I am sane. Right now.

But, I understand the desire to consume poison, thinking it will light the darkness.